I went through the front door in the hope of seeing Natalie but instead I interrupted a glad-handing exercise taking place at reception between, Cadden, Raffles and a tall, thin man wearing a long dark navy coat. He looked directly at me, acknowledged me with a slight movement of his head, and followed Zig and Zag up the stairs. I crept over to Natalie’s desk.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” I said, happily.

“Good morning,” she said with a smile.

“Can I have a kiss?”

“You can have anything you want.”

“I didn’t say where I wanted the kiss,” I said.

“Tony, why do you do that? Jesus, I’ve only have these panties on for less than an hour.”

“Incontinence?”

“You little …” she said, with a huge smile as she picked up a pencil and threw it at me.

I picked the pencil up and brought it back to her.

“It might be little, my dear, but it shoots far.”

“What does?” Peter said, as he walked in the door.

“We’re talking about penises, Peter, aren’t you Natalie?”

“I told you once,” she said.

“Size isn’t everything is it, Natalie?” he said, with a smirk.

“Everything is relative, Peter. Now get out of here the pair of you and leave me alone.”

We went to leave but I turned back about halfway,

“Who’s the undertaker in the long coat?”

She checked a business card on her desk.

“His name is Kenneth Tierney from a company called HEFT Properties. I think he’s looking for some work done.”

“Never heard of him.”

“You probably never will again, if you’re going to be in Galway for six months.”

“Ah well, fuck him so.”

I went about my business for the day and was bored silly by two o’clock. I concocted a trip out to a site in Howth and headed home in the van. Halfway there, I got a call from Cadden.

“Tony, where would you be?” he asked.

“I’m stuck in traffic on Pearse Street, Mr. Cadden,” I said, closing my eyes in hope.

“Can you do a U-Turn and come back to the office for a few minutes?”

“No, it’s a one way street, Mr. Cadden.”

“You know what I mean, get your arse back here.”

I turned off Pearse Street on to Townsend Street and made my way back to the office via Merrion Square. I met Peter on his way out.

“I thought you’d fucked off for the day,” he said.

“I did. I received a summons from above.”

“I’m going to get some smokes. Need anything? Carpet cleaner? Chocolate for mammy?”

“I could do with the carpet cleaner, if things keep on the way they’re going. By the way,” I reached into my pocket and handed him Aisling’s thong, “Aisling says hi.”

“You dirty little bastard! Well fucking done, that’s a full house from the top Adams office. I knew I could rely on you. She was a bit of a fox, wasn’t she?”

“She still is,” I said.

“Oh, I sense the beginning of a love story here.”

“No, but there’s a few more nights in it, I hope. She does this thing with her fingernail, Peter, honestly.”

“Stop right there. This isn’t a place to be discussing fetishes. Wait for me in the canteen, I’m dying to hear this. One quick question though, was she up to scratch? Did you see what I did there?”